Showing posts with label at work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label at work. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Tuesday, Tuesday !!

Hi,

ABF was so confusing. Right when I think things are going fine, something up-ends my "peace". Last night, everything was fine. He left me alone for the most part. I went to sleep in peace and woke up fine. As I was getting ready, he started to freak out. He started to argue with me about how much he has given up and how mean I was being. I told him how irresponsible he was in handling everything, not just our relationship but also his relationship with his parents. Then I left because I was late to work. Lo and behold, he came 10 minutes later to talk to me. It was a complete 180. Now he was nice and had as I call the "hurt puppy" attitude. Most of the conversation was all he has given up for me and if I could give him one more chance not as a boyfriend but as a person to date.
I said he would have to earn back even my friendship because he didn't have that. He left and went to class and I started to think.
I wondered to myself if this is how most abusers approached their S.O. I mean apparently it works so I tried to figure out how I would act if I wanted to be abusive. I would talk all nice and try to get the person to feel like they owe me this. I would also try to make this person cry. I would be persistant. I would try to bribe the person. Then I would say something to make them feel a little bad about themselves. I realized that all of this was happening to me this morning and I became so upset!
So when he came back after his class, I told him I was confused and needed time to figure stuff out. "No, you shouldn't need time. I didn't take time to figure this out when you asked me back (1 year ago)." I thought, "This is the trick that car salesmen play. Buy the car now because this deal will be gone tomorrow". Pretty much, I said that I would think about it. He seemed happy and I don't want to make him feel sad. However, when I started to think about our relationship on my own, I became physically ill. Several times, I almost threw up. It seems like my body won't let me do this to myself. I understand it will be hard, but I am glad that there is evidence that I can not ignore.
I know! I know! This even sounds crazy to me while I'm writing it! I can understand how people say "Why do you care about how he feels? He's hurt you so much. It's obvious that he doesn't care about you." I know. Part of the point for this blog is to find out *why* I feel this way. I know it's crazy; you don't have to tell me. I see it. I just feel alone.
The way I see it is that I should be happy now! This is my last large semester before I graduate and go to graduate school! It isn't fair that this drama with him overshadows how happy I should be!